


She moved in circles, and those circles moved

by My_Barbaric_Yawp



Category: The Almighty Johnsons
Genre: AU season 3, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-02
Updated: 2018-01-02
Packaged: 2019-02-27 06:13:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13242156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/My_Barbaric_Yawp/pseuds/My_Barbaric_Yawp
Summary: When Gaia leaves, Anders barely has time to start missing her.  Not that he lets that stop him.  AU Season 3.





	She moved in circles, and those circles moved

She's been gone for ten hours, and it's pure hell already. There isn't a single part of him that doesn't ache for her touch. He's even beginning to miss her post-cotial death stares. But mostly he misses the sex—all that glorious skin draped over him like silk, the sweet sour taste of her between her legs, the barely there scent of green apples between her breasts.

He's hard just thinking about her. The club is loud and sloppy, but there's a blonde at the bar giving him the eye, and he thinks she'll do. She'll have to.

As it turns out, she doesn't even come close. She's riding him hell bent for leather, and he's doing his best to match her thrust for thrust, and somehow it's just not enough. Her skin is too pale, and she tastes like ash, and she doesn't smell like apples.

Sensing the moment slipping away, she pauses in her motions, looking down at him with exasperation in her eyes.

“Is this working for you? Like at all?”

He's embarrassingly sober, and if nothing else, he's learned that no good comes from being fully aware in these matters.

“I think I need a minute,” he says, tapping her thigh to get up.

In the bathroom, he's staring himself down in the mirror. His cock is hard, and there's a willing woman in the next room, and there's no excuse for any of this. Even Helen didn't have him neutered like this.

“Oh, that's nice,” says a perpetually bitchy voice behind him, and electricity runs hot and cold down his spine. “I'm glad to see you're back on the horse, Anders. Hate to think you'd give it more than a 12 hours after I've left the country before you got back in the saddle.”

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.

“You're not here,” he says, opening his eyes to stare down his reflection. “And even if you were, I can do what I like.”

“Can you? That was a pretty pathetic display in there.”

Her face suddenly appears behind him in the mirror, and he jumps, turning to face her, and Jesus Christ, she's still there, right in front of him.

“What the—” he reaches out to touch her, and she bats his hand way. His skin is on fire where they make contact. “How the hell are you here?”

“How the hell should I know!” She shouts. “Last I knew, I was on a plane!”

There's a knock at the bathroom door and a muffled “Anders?” makes him jump a little. He’s completely forgotten his company in the other room.

“Oh for the love of—” she mutters while he lunges to cover her mouth and muffle the sound. It was a fine idea, but now he’s that much closer to her, and he’s still naked.

“Yeah, I'm not feeling well,” he shouts to the blonde on the other side of the door. “I think we should call it a night.”

“Okay! Can I help with anything? Do you need anything before I go?”

 _Gods save him from solicitous women._ His partner in the bathroom clearly agrees, wrenching his hand away with a huff to shout back, “Just get out, would you? We’re a little busy here.”

Anders gives her a bug-eyed stare, but she just shrugs, already in motion.

“Who the hell is that?”

Only, it's kind of hard to answer after that, because suddenly he's got a goddess perched on the edge of the counter, pulling up her skirt and reaching for him, and he can't think of one good reason not to step into her embrace, push her panties to the side and slide home in one fluid movement and, oh gods, yes, this is where he should be, right here.

Maybe their audience leaves and maybe she doesn't. Maybe she stays at the door, listening to their gasps and deep little moans while skin drags against skin and he trails hot wet kisses up her neck. He couldn't care less, so long she's got his earlobe in her mouth, sucking it in time to his thrusts, and it's so good, he's so close—

“Idun,” he moans, and then she bites his ear, hard, and it stings like a bitch.

“My name is Gaia, you dick,” she hisses into his ear. It's almost too much, but before he can come she's pushing him away, and he grasps for her desperately, disoriented and cold without her.

“No,” he says, begging now, ready to go to his knees to keep her.

But she's turning around, bracing against the counter and meeting his gaze in the mirror—her eyes so cold and so hot at the same time.

“Say my name, Anders.”

And he does.

“Gaia,” he says, moving forward to run his hands over her belly, up her ribs, cupping her breast, both of them watching his progress in the mirror.

“Gaia,” he whispers in her ear, licking a path up her neck and sucking at her pulse point, feeling her pulse flutter under his tongue.

“Gaia,” he moans, easing into her again and so close to coming he just keeps saying it, a mantra to focus on as they climb towards climax together.

He says it one last time, eyes meeting hers again in the mirror before all sight is gone and it's just the pulse of her around him and a moment of perfect connection even he can't screw up.

When he can see again, a little woozy and sucking in breath after breath, she's gone.

The blonde is gone, too, but his empty bed feels wrong with sheets that don't quite smell like Gaia anymore. He strips the bed, making a pile in the corner and lying face down and naked on the bare mattress. He drifts off with the whiff of apple on his pillows.

***

He dreams about a golden garden in spring and wakes up hard again and pissed off. Dawn's perky smile when he gets in to the office isn't helping, so he sends her out on a fool's errand just to get some peace and quiet.

For the rest of the day he tries to decide if last night was a dream or his new god induced reality. By the time Dawn starts putting on her coat and making noises about leaving for the night, Anders is almost convinced it was a fluke. Maybe a bad trip? He doesn’t remember any snow at the club, but who knows. Either way, she's gone for good, and he may never see her again. This is it.

But when he gets home, she's sitting on the couch with her arms crossed, glaring at him as he walks around the corner. He stops in his tracks and then leans against the wall with his hands in his pockets, a slow smile building to a smirk.

“Couldn't stay away?”

She huffs curls out of her face with a sigh. “I went to bed in London and wound up in your bathroom again.”

“Safe trip?”

“No one died.” She narrows her eyes at him. “Yet.”

“Lovely.” There's a pause while they stare at each other, each waiting for someone to point out the obvious.

“What—”

“How—”

They both start at the same time and stop again. The silence is heavy but somehow comfortable. There's no rush here between them.

Pushing off the wall, Anders moves towards her slowly, finally reaching out to move a curl out of her eyes, brushing fingertips against her cheek.

“I can touch you.”

“I can feel you.”

He's leaning down, and she's reaching up, and somewhere in the middle their lips meet. He can feel sparks where her hand cups the back of his neck, drawing him down into her arms on the couch.

He runs his hands up her body, in a hurry to be everywhere, all at once, but he draws back once he realizes what she's wearing.

“I like your pajamas,” he says, smirking again while reaching for the buttons on her soft white sleep shirt.

“Shut up, Anders.”

Some time later, he strokes her curls again where they're fanned out against his bare chest.

“At least you're still here this time. My cock was still wet when you fucked off last night.”

“Gross.”

There's a twinge somewhere in his chest—something almost like regret. “Sorry.”

“It was weird for me, too. I woke up when the wheels touched down and everyone was looking at me. Not exactly the afterglow I was expecting.”

“What were you expecting? I thought you didn't want to be here at all.”

Gaia’s quiet at that, brushing the pads of her fingers over his nipple slowly, watching it tighten under her touch.

“I didn't—I don't. But I also don't seem to have a choice. This is why I left New Zealand, but I'm half a world away, and I'm still showing up in you flat.”

“So weird.”

“Did this ever happen with her? With the last Idun?”

“The freaky teleportation-vision thing? Never. To be fair, we didn't spend that much time away from each other. She practically moved in the day we met.”

“And that was okay with you?”

“I wasn't really thinking with my big head,” says Anders, looking at the ceiling and getting the feeling that somehow everything is different this go around, with this Idun, with Gaia. “Let's just say it was...convenient.”

“Because of all the shagging.”

“Yes. That. And it was kind of nice, at first. That kind of...devotion. It was addictive.”

She looks up, forehead scrunched up with concern. “I heard it was obsessive and unhealthy.”

“Well, yeah, that too.” He moves then, and she sits up, watching his naked butt while he heads to the fridge to find a bottle of wine.

“Drink?”

“Sure,” she says with a shrug, sliding on her pajama top on the the way to sit at the counter.

He hands her a glass and leans his elbows on the counter, watching her take a sip and looking for any gaps in her buttons.

“Seriously, who wears matching pajamas in this day and age?”

She narrows her eyes at him. “Women who share a flat with two randy adolescents.”

“You could not be more wrong about the effect those pajamas are having.”

“Oh?” Anders stands back a little, showing her his growing problem, and Gaia blushes and hides her eyes. “Oh.”

“To be fair, you could be covered in garbage, and I'd still want you, so maybe they did work on the flatmates.”

Gaia makes a face. “They didn't. I slept with one and spent a lot of time fending off the other.”

Anders feels a weight in his belly and a quick glance confirms that he's fists are clenched. He consciously opens his palms and turns away to tidy up the bottle and cork.

“How long do you think you'll be staying for this time?”

“No idea. I don't seem to have much control over this...thing.”

“God shit.”

“Right. Maybe we should talk to Ingrid?”

“Or Olaf.”

“I want Ingrid. It's goddess stuff. And not seeing your family just now would be good.”

“Right. That would really spoil your dismount from that high horse you've been riding on.”

“Is that how you want to phrase that?” she asks, smirking at him over the counter, just a little.

He straightens up, startled into a small smile, a real one. “Depends. Do you want to go for another ride?”

Her smile is a little sad now, but no less beautiful. “I think we both know the answer to that.”

***

She's gone when he wakes up, and for some reason, it feels weird to be alone in the apartment. He used to cherish these moments, now it just feels like something is missing. Like he's waiting for someone to come home.

On his way out the door, he calls Ty and asks for Ingrid. Ty’s laughter is pretty rich for a man living with the dippy hippy, but Ingrid does agree to stop by that evening, and he's glad, even if she does seem to think it's a date.

At the office he makes a stab at the paperwork and ends up thinking about Gaia again. Before all this, before she was Idun, he really hadn't noticed her at all. She was tiny and quiet, and he thought she was a boring mortal—not even shaggable, really.

And the thing is, she still is that person. She's small, and she's quiet, and she's 75% saner than Helen ever was, which should make her 100% less interesting to him. But he's fascinated. She's so different from Helen—calmer, more focused, less interested in him. Helen was constantly leading the way, reveling in her powers and his, pushing him on to new and better ways to fuck shit up.

And Gaia would rather leave the country than hurt the people she loves. She would rather leave him behind than spiral down into their madness like they have again and again and again. She would have been an excellent Frigg, but just now, he is so grateful she's his, instead.

Not that she is his. Not that he'd know what to do with her if she were.

***

Ingrid is puttering around the flat when he gets home, making tea and making a mess while Gaia watches, a slightly baffled amusement making her lips quirk up. Gaia's in a dress today—something very earth goddess and just a touch matronly in the best possible way—and the way she's sitting at the counter, arms crossed but relaxed, surveying the kitchen like it's hers, makes the scene a little frighteningly domestic.

Ingrid spots him and there are a few flustered seconds while she looks between him and Gaia, as if putting it all together for the first time. “Anders! Look who's here!”

“Yes, Ingrid. That's why we called you.” He moves towards Gaia, drawn as ever, and leans against the counter beside her, just barely not touching. If they touch now, Ingrid will need to wait.

They fill her in on the basics—Gaia visiting Auckland in her sleep being the headliner—and Ingrid sips her tea, still in a way Anders has never seen from her before.

“Astral projection,” says Ingrid, “or something quite like it.”

“But she's here—I can touch her. She can touch things around the flat. How is that possible?”

Ingrid shrugs. “She's a goddess. In some ways, she's _the_ goddess. The one that gives the rest of us the power to be here at all. One presumes she has a little leeway to bend her own experience of reality from time to time.”

“So,” Gaia asks, “how do we stop this?”

“Do you want it stopped?” Asks Ingrid, lowering her tea cup to the counter to peer into Gaia’s eyes. Neither notice Anders shift his weight, staring at his fingernails against the cool counter.

“Of course! I left Auckland for a reason.”

“And I would suggest that you're also coming back for a reason. A big one, if the power it would take to project your physical form across the globe is any indication.”

“But what could it be?”

“I don't know. What do you do here all day?”

Anders looks up at Gaia, interested in the answer, but it's not a surprise when she says, “Nothing. I keep showing up in the bathroom, and I sit around until Anders comes home.”

“And then what?”

Gaia looks at him, speechless and awkward, and Anders sighs and looks at Ingrid. “And then we do what we do best.”

“Oh,” Ingrid says, and Gaia blushes, looking away from them both. “Well, maybe that's it. No one said the reason would be profound. Chemistry like yours doesn't grow on trees.”

But Anders wonders if it does. If that's what the apples are all about. Goddess of the garden and keeper of the apples—just as important as Odin, in her own way.

“So this is an intercontinental booty call,” he says, smirking at Gaia.

“It's not that good,” she says, rolling her eyes.

“Yeah, it is,” he says quietly, serious again.

“Yeah, it kind of is. But I don't want to be here. And I don't want to hurt anyone.”

Axl. She means Axl, and he gets that. It's sweet. Right up to the point he wants to punch his baby brother in the face.

“So we don't tell him,” he says, raising an eyebrow.

Gaia raises one right back and then looks to Ingrid, who shrinks a little.

“That's probably going to be a problem for me.”

Gaia sighs and slides off the stool, heading for the door. Anders turns to follow her, drawn in her wake until she motions for him to stay. “I just...need to go. Maybe this the perfect opportunity to learn more about Auckland's nightlife. Never had much time for it the last go around.”

“I don't think you'll gain anything by running away, dear,” Ingrid offers, but Gaia isn’t having it.

“Well, at least I won't lose anything.”

And then she's gone, and he feels an emptiness opening up around him, tunneling in on the door and the vacuum left behind in her absence.

Ingrid pats his shoulder. “She'll be back.”

“Right.”

***

The thing is, Ingrid is right. Gaia does come back, in the sense that his bathroom perpetually smells like apples, and he's pretty sure that means she's still popping out there whenever she falls asleep in London.

In the practical sense, he never sees her. She's long gone by the time he gets home, even though he's been coming home earlier and earlier, hoping to bump into her on her way out the door.

It's been a week, and between work and god stuff and one pretty wretched promotional party over the weekend, he's missed her every day. He has to settle for a twice daily wank in the shower, surrounded by her scent and the steam and a vague hope that eventually this will all go away.

Bedding other women is starting to seem impossible now, which is an entirely new experience in his life. There's a girl at the party, and she’s warm and ready, rubbing against him on the dance floor, dripping the kind of innuendo that used to color his dreams, and he can already tell it's useless. He’s hard, but it has nothing to do with her, and he knows from experience she can’t help.

In his sloppier moments, he's beginning to think the problem isn't Idun at all. Bragi’s been living with her for eons—mostly disastrously, it must be said—but the new problem, the real problem, is Gaia. Anders has no idea how to live with her, but she's been learning how to avoid him for years.

He's getting a little maudlin, but none of that prepares him for the new lowest of the low moments in his life.

Another week and another godly crisis brings his family together in the ruins of Mike’s bar. They’re supposed to be working on a solution, but it's dead tonight. Axl is nodding off in a corner, pissed again, and Mike and Michele have sneaked off to do the deed upstairs. Ty just went home to mope alone, but Olaf's bizarre harem followed him out, and now it's just Anders and Axl’s freaky little friend.

Anders takes a sip of whiskey, contemplating his next move and dreading it, but Zeb beats him to it.

“I miss Gaia.”

He's looking at nothing with his eyes glazed over, but then he must remember who he's talking to, because he jumps a little, turning to Anders with dread in his eyes. “Sorry, I forgot. You must miss her, too. In a different way.”

“Yeah,” says Anders, thinking about unexplained intercontinental travel and mind blowing sex, “it's a little different.”

“Right. Like you must miss your goddess soulmate, but anyone could be her vessel. Gaia's just the free toy there.”

Anders looks down into his glass. “You'd think so. That's certainly how it was with the last Idun. She could have been anyone, although she did bring her own particular brand of crazy to the role. But with Gaia...it is different. Just... really, really different. I don't know why.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“I didn't even know you really knew Gaia. Before, I mean. When she was just Gaia.”

“I didn't. It's just... Idun isn't alone in there, you know. We all bring our own personality to the power, and it changes things.”

“She always thought you were a dick.”

“She still thinks I'm a dick.”

“Maybe you should be less of a dick? To her, and...in general?”

“Yeah, that couldn't hurt.” There's a long moment of silence, then, “Any other insights?”

Zebs eyes blow wide, and Anders’ self-preservation mechanisms kick in. “Nevermind, I don't need advice from a mortal god-botherer like you.”

“No,” says Zeb, slowly, “you need advice from one of Gaia's friends. You’re actually trying to make a go of this. What the hell, man? Does Axl know? Does Gaia know?”

“What? No. What?”

“That you're, like, pining?”

“Gods do not pine and even if they do, I don't.”

“Okay…”

“I just...miss her?”

“Right, like the sex must have been—”

“Do not finish that thought.”

“But it's just the sex right? You hardly know each other.”

“Right, that would be stupid.”

There's a beat while they stare at each other, and then Anders looks away and Zeb gasps.

“Oh my God. You think you're in love with Gaia.”

“Oh Jesus, god, no. We hardly know each other. But I am worried about her. A little. And I miss her death stares.”

“Death stares?”

“Yeah. You know, like,” he motions between them with two fingers in the universal look-at-my-eyes movement, “her stare of death. The one she gives you when she cares to tell you that she doesn't care.”

“Anders, man, you have a problem.”

Anders sighs and rests his head on the bar. “Yeah, I think I do.”

***

A week later, it's time for a plan. He's sick of the smell of apples that's starting to escape the bathroom and touch everything in the flat. He's sick of being hard all the damn time, dreaming of her beneath him, on top of him, hell, even behind him if that's what it takes. He's sick of missing her stupid face—the way her eyes spark and make him warm all over.

With all of this in mind, he calls Dawn to tell her he's working from home and sets up shop at the dining room table to wait.

And wait. And wait.

At 3pm he breaks down and looks up London time. It’s 2am there—where the hell is she?

At 5pm, he gives up all pretense of work and sits, staring at the bathroom door, waiting for a sign.

At 8pm, he gives up and goes for a shower. She must have figured out how to stop the visits. Maybe his bathroom will stop smelling like apples now. Maybe he can finally move the fuck on.

The shower is hot and wet and the steam smells like her. It's time for one last wank, and it's a good one, with his head pillowed against the crook of his arm, resting against the shower wall, rocking into his other hand, thinking about having her against the bathroom sink, moaning his name.

“Anders? What the hell?”

He looks up so fast he almost slips and falls down. She's standing in the back of the shower, the spray already sticking her curls to her forehead.

“Why am I wet?”

Anders looks down at her pajamas, which are almost soaked and not showing nearly enough skin through the soft but surprisingly sturdy fabric.

“Why are you in the shower?”

“This is where I come out!”

Anders can't help it. He laughs. He's hard and the water is starting to turn cold and his—goddess, for lack of a better name—keeps popping out in his shower.

Gaia's laughing, too. It's all a little ridiculous and funny until suddenly it isn't.

“You're late,” he says, turning off the water and stepping closer.

“There was an emergency at the hospital. I only just got home.”

“I was worried.”

“You? Worried about me?”

“Yes,” he says, crowding her against the wall and starting on her buttons, pressing kisses against her breast bone, following his fingers down to her belly.

“Were you worried I was hurt or worried I wasn't coming?”

“Yes.”

He slips two fingers into her waist band and starts to pull the pajama pants down, revealing more skin to suck and kiss along the way.

She yanks on his hair, making him look up, lips hovering over her knee.

“Anders—”

“Gaia, I'm worried about everything when it comes to you.”

She sighs and strokes his hair back from his face gently, almost a caress. “That I get.”

He kisses her knee and helps her step out of the pajama pants, stroking his hands against her calf and back up to her thighs and around.

With his hands splayed against her bottom, he nips the dip in her right hip and looks up with a question. “You're not dressed for a night out tonight?”

She’s blushing, shy despite everything they’ve shared so far. “I'm really tired. It was a shitful day.”

He smiles, kissing her belly while his hands travel north to stroke the curve of her breasts and back down to her hips. “I can help with that,” he promises, leaning in to nuzzle her.

She's smiling, too, hands back in his hair, steady, small, and warm. “I was hoping you'd say that.”

***

He wakes up curled around her, her back to his chest, his dick pressed against her ass, her curls all over his face. He huffs and spits out the few that he's managed to breath in overnight. Somehow, he doesn't really mind.

She is small and quiet against him, breathing softly in the dark. He's into it, but he can't bring himself to disturb her. It's too precious, the look of peace on her face. He's never slept with a partner quite like this before. It's a brave new world then, for him.

She starts to stir, and he presses a kiss against her shoulder, unable to let her go.

She's quiet for a bit, and then she turns a little to look at him. “What time is it?”

“Auckland or London?”

“Either.”

Anders looks back at his alarm clock quickly. “5am, Auckland.”

“Shit.”

“Have plans?”

“Not anymore. But I should go.”

“Right. One question…”

“Mmmmm?”

He kisses her, pulling her closer for a moment before pulling back to meet her puzzled eyes.

“How can you sleep here, and not end up back in London?”

She sighs. “No idea. This whole thing is still a mystery to me.”

“Right.”

“What?”

“What?”

“You've got that look on your face. The serious look you get when you think something's going on, and you're trying to figure out how to exploit it.”

“Or fix it.”

“Same thing.”

He rolls over and raises his arm, resting it against his forehead.

“I was just thinking that you must know where you need to be. Or want to be. Somewhere deep down, it's all you, directing this thing.”

“I guess. Wish I had a clue how it all worked.”

He looks to her again, fear flickering over his face and then gone in an instant.

“So you can stop it?”

She smiles a little and shakes her head. “I don't think so. Not anymore.”

“What's changed?”

“I think, maybe, we both have? Just a little. Just enough that I don't hate you so much anymore.”

“And I only find you a little annoying these days.”

She laughs and sits up. “Such progress.” She looks down to him. “I better go. I've got another night shift.”

He strokes her back, and leans forward to kiss her spine. “Will I see you tonight?”

“It's very likely,” she says, and then she's gone.

***

He sees more of her in the coming weeks, and he doesn't hate it. She's there when he gets home, and they talk about the day—crazy things that happened at the hospital, silly things that Dawn said, stupid things that Ty did. Ty is the only brother he can talk about with her, and that's all right by him.

Until the day it isn't.

He has to meet his brothers for a bergerbar, so he leaves her a note to explain why he's out tonight. It's nuts to be explaining his whereabouts when they haven't even talked about what they're doing together yet, but he also remembers the day he spent in a chair, staring at the bathroom door with the feeling of panic and then rejection mounting. He can't think that the experience in reverse would improve anything about their situation.

It's a weird night. It turns out he's got more Bragi power than he ever realized, and that's awesome, but Axl also tried to kill himself, and that's not cool at all.

Gaia's making tea when he gets home, padding around the kitchen in bare feet and humming something peaceful under her breath. She's golden in the dim kitchen light, and she takes his breath away.

She spots him in the light of the fish tank and smiles. He still hasn't gotten used to being welcomed home without the death stare.

“And how are the Johnsons this evening?”

He shrugs and heads into the kitchen. He kisses her shoulder and reaches for her cup of tea. “A bit shit,” he says, taking a sip.

She doesn't even blink, just reaches for another mug and starts a new cup. “What else is new?”

“Axl's not doing well.”

Her back stiffens for a second and then her shoulders relax, as if by concentrated effort.

“I'm sorry to hear that.”

“I know.” He moves around the counter, sitting on the stool also that he can look at her for the next part.

“I don't want to tell you this.”

“I'm not sure I want to hear it.”

Anders nods, taking another sip, prolonging the moment.

“Axl tried to jump off a building tonight.”

“Oh god.”

“I don't think it's all about you, if that's any consolation.”

“It's not,” she says, looking into her tea.

“Right.”

She looks back up, wiping moisture from her eyes.

“Would it help if I talked to him?”

“You could. I wouldn't stop you, or stand in your way.”

“But?”

“But I really don't think it will help. This is the kind of thing he has to get through himself. None of us can carry him through it. Not even you or Mike.”

Gaia nods and sips her tea, then puts it down to look him in the eye.

“It's so strange. I loved him.” Anders winces, can't help it really, but she reaches out to hold his hand, squeezing it for reassurance. “I loved him, but all I can think about is how much I want the both of you to be safe and okay with each other. I don't want to get in the way of that. Not for anything.”

Anders strokes her fingers, tiny and fragile in his hand. He raises them for a kiss. “I have no proof of this, but I think it’s going to be okay. Eventually. I don't know why.”

“That's good. Let's hold on to that.”

***

It gets better, gradually. He gets seconded onto a god mission, and as much as it sucks to be taken for granted as usual, it's still kind of nice to be asked.

With the interruption of the mission in the morning, he puts in some extra hours in the evening, sending Dawn home so he can focus on a few details that have been eluding him.

When he wraps up, he's feeling pretty good, and that feeling carries him home, right up to the moment he opens the door and finds a full house of gods getting upholstered in his living room.

“What the everloving fuck is going on here?”

Olaf blinks up at him from the couch, head resting in Stacey's lap. “It's been a day.”

“Ty almost got killed,” says Mike, who's sitting in the chair with Michele on his lap. Ty gives a little wave from the floor as his hand travels slowly to take the spliff from Ingrid. “Axl destroyed the bar—”

“And had sex,” says Axl, who's leaning heavily on the coffee table. “Well, almost.”

“And worst of all, we had to move back in with my mother,” says Michele, seething. She doesn't seem high at all, just mad.

“Well, nearly being stabbed also sucked,” says Ty.

“And your place was the only place we could go,” says Mike.

“Right, that's sweet,” Anders says, scanning the flat for any permanent damage. “How long have you all been here?”

“Hours. It was light out when we got here.”

Anders feels something like panic creeping up his spine.

“I've got to check a thing,” he offers to the room at large, but no one really notices when he heads to the bathroom.

She's not in the bathroom or the bedroom, but when he checks the closet he finds her napping in a corner, a book half open on her lap.

She startles awake when he opens the door, then settles back when she sees it's just him.

“I am so sorry about this.”

Gaia gives him tired smile and rubs her eyes.

“Are they gone, yet? I didn't dare check. Olaf and Stacey had sex in your bed, and I think Mike and Michele defiled the bathroom.”

“Right. Okay. I'll be back. I just have to go murder my family.”

“Okay. I'll change the sheets.”

“I don't deserve you.”

“And yet,” she says, smiling, “here I am.”

Anders loosens his tie on the way back to the living room, preparing for battle. “Well,” he says, clapping loudly, “this has been great but you all need to leave now.”

“Why?” Olaf asks. “We'll share the good stuff.”

“Because I said so. I have my own plans for tonight and none of them involve your sorry asses. Everyone out. And I'll be taking the spare keys, too.”

“But what about when you get drunk and forget yours?” Axl asks.

Anders looks around at his wasted family, and then back to the closed bedroom door.

“Somehow, I don't think that's going to be a pressing problem in my near future.”

***

A couple days later he has a preliminary campaign event to manage. Dawn's sick, possibly for the first time in her career, and he's really trying to avoid Colin, who's working the crowd like the con-artist he is. It's all a little lonely tonight, which leads him to nurse a glass of whiskey in the back corner of the bar, leaning against a bartop built into the wall.

“I like your cologne,” a woman says in his ear, pressing against him just enough to get his attention. “Is that apple?”

In any other time in his life, this would have been a fantasy fulfilled. But he does smell faintly of apple these days, as does the rest of his flat, and strangely he still doesn't hate it.

“My girlfriend picked it out.”

Not deterred in the least, she presses closer, hot breath against his ear. “She has good taste.”

“You have no idea,” a new voice says. Looking up, he sees Gaia moving towards him with purpose, and the other woman seems to melt away before she gets to his side.

“Did you miss me, darling?”

“Always,” he says, leaning in for a kiss and meaning it.

“Girlfriend?” She asks when they finally break apart.

“If it suits you.”

“I think it does,” she says with a smile.

Out of the corner of his eye, Anders spots Colin. He's nearly done with his circle around the room and any second now he's going to be back to taunt him about something.

“Let's get out of here.”

She follows his gaze and quickly looks away with a nod. “I know a great Italian place around the corner.”

“Are you asking me to dinner?”

“If it suits.”

***

The date goes surprisingly well, considering they've probably never gone more than two hours without being inside each other before. They have almost nothing in common, but he likes sharing stories with her and hearing about her life in return. The two things they do share are pretty foundational: they both have major issues with their parents, and they both solve other people's problems for a living, not to mention his full time hobby of bailing out his brothers.

Over dinner she tells him about the giant who kidnapped her and raised her, and it’s clear she loves him as much as Anders loves his own mother, the tree, and just as complicated. He tells her about growing up with two shit parents and Mike, and when that’s no fun, he just tells her about all the stupid stuff he and Ty got up to as teenagers.

The tales turn more recent over dessert and a last glass of wine. Gaia is telling him about one of her current cases:

“They've been together for 70 years. It broke my heart to wheel him into the OR, and his partner was so anxious when he couldn't come, too.” 

“That's kind of remarkable,” he says. “Can you imagine sleeping with the same person for 70 years?”

She frowns, but Anders has already caught up with his own thought and sped ahead.

“That used to be unthinkable to me. Now...I don't know. I can see how it happens to people.”

“I hope it's not just something that happens to people. It should be intentional.”

“What, like us?” Anders asks, looking at his fingers stroking the stem of his wine glass and carefully not meeting her eyes.

“No, I suppose not,” she says quietly, “but I guess it is intentional for me, now.” He looks up quickly, and she gives him a small, sad smile. “I'm the one that keeps showing up. Should I stop, if I can?”

“No,” he says on an outward breath. “Please don't leave me.”

They don't make it home before he's got her pressed up against a wall. They barely make it out of the restaurant. Her legs are around his hips, and one of his hands is cupped under her ass while the other unzips his fly and shoves her panties out of the way. It's just like the first time and also nothing like it. He's not floating above himself now. He's here, in her arms, loving every moment.

“Don't go,” he says, sliding home and bracing a hand above her shoulder. “Please don't go.”

“I'm here,” she says, curling her hands around his neck, gasping a little in his ear. “I'm not going anywhere.”

***

The next week has been pretty peaceful, but then an otherwise lovely day starts off with a cup of coffee and scone for Dawn and ends with a fistfight during a game of backyard cricket.

But before any of that kicks off, he gets a call. The caller ID makes his stomach turn over. It says Idun.

He steps away from Ty and around the corner to answer the call.

“Why the hell is it a fancy dress party?” she asks. “It's bad enough I have to see your family again, but do I also have to be in costume when I do?”

“You, too? Sorry, I thought she only invited family.”

“The invite says the Johnsons and their partners. I guess that's me.”

Anders can't help the grin on his face. “That's you.”

She sighs, resigned. “What a lucky girl I am. What are you wearing?”

“Phone sex? That's new territory in our relationship.”

“To the party, Anders!”

“Dawn got me a police uniform. You want to be the girl I busted for soliciting?”

“Not one little bit. I'll be the on call nurse who really doesn't have time for this shit.”

“Spoilsport.”

“I'll see you at home, officer.”

“On it. Thank you.”

Call over, he turns around and jumps when he finds Ty almost on top of him, eyes boring into him.

“Who was that?”

“Just give me a minute,” Anders says, holding up one finger to Ty’s lips, “I've got to change this contact information.”

***

Ty’s about as chill about the situation as ever, which is to say exactly zero percent chill and losing ground every minute. Anders shepherds him to the car and drives home to pick up Gaia. She's waiting outside in her scrubs when they get there.

“You're in her seat,” he tells Ty, who sighs and gets out to hold the door for her.

“Thank you, Ty.”

“You're welcome,” he says, climbing in the back while clearly still operating on autopilot.

“No sexy nurse uniform? I'm heartbroken.”

She glares at him, and he realizes that he really does miss the death stares, especially now that he knows how to make her smile again.

“I had to go home sick just to make it to this thing. This is what I've got.”

“And you look lovely,” he says, leaning in for a kiss.

“Oh my God,” Ty says from the back seat. “Just drive.”

***

The party is fraught to say the least. His father is still an asshole and that has Mike on edge, Michele's mother is all but climbing the walls, and some idiot invited Colin of all people.

And none of that even begins to compare to the fireworks that go off when Gaia steps through the door.

“What the hell, Anders!”

Mike is shouting, which is good. Mike shouting is as normal as it gets in their family. Still, it wouldn't be normal without a rebuttal, so Anders is standing in front of her, shouting right back.

“It's not my fault! This really isn't how we imaged doing this.”

“We? We!?”

“Yes, we. Your dippy mother-in-law invited the Johnsons and their partners. Apparently secret girlfriends count.”

“Girlfriend!”

Anders turns back to Gaia, throwing up his hands with an exasperation. “This is hopeless.”

“That's my man, god of poetry,” she says, reaching up to stroke his neck to calm him down.

And then Axl walks in.

It's not pretty, and it's not fun, and in the end Axl fucks off with Johan, Colin drops Anders in the shit with Ty, and Anders ends up fending off an attack with a damn cricket bat.

But the night does end with his family gathered in the backyard with beers, and it almost feels like they’re finally getting somewhere together after all these years. The cricket game is long over, and for once it’s not just him talking shit, and to top it all off, Gaia's on his lap, pressing frozen peas to his eye where Michele caught him with the ball earlier. No one seems to care that she's there anymore, but they are a little curious.

“So she just turns up in your bathroom?” Olaf asks for the fifth time. “Why the bathroom?”

“No idea, Grandpa.” He taps her hip and turns to look at her with the eye not covered in peas. “Can we go home, now? I'm about tapped out on the quality family time.”

“Sure. Let me put these back in the freezer.”

She heads into the house, but everyone else is staring at him.

“What?”

“Home?” asks Mike. “As in living together?”

Anders shifts in his seat. “Kind of. I mean she works in London, but otherwise, yeah, she's here. With me. In the flat.”

“Your flat?”

“The flat, yep!” He moves quickly towards the door, trying to outpace the questions. “Bye now. If this turns into an orgy, please take it to your collective graves.”

Gaia's quiet on the ride home, and when they get to the flat he can't help it, he has to ask.

“Do you still want to be with Axl?”

Gaia blinks, twice. “What?”

The complete confusion on her face is heartening, but now he has to explain himself.

“You've been quiet all night. I was wondering if you were still regretting the brother you got stuck with?”

She looks at him with big eyes, small and quiet as always, and somehow her quiet seeps into him and calms his racing heartbeat. He once thought her quietness was the least attractive thing about her. What an idiot.

She shakes her head and sits on the couch, motioning for him to join her.

“I was thinking that it's a little unreal how far we've come in such a short period. It's only been a handful of months since I moved, and everything has changed. I looked at Axl today, and I was just sorry.”

“I know.”

He looks down at his clenched hands, but she’s already reaching out to him and stroking them open again, lacing her fingers through his.

“No, you don't. I was sorry he doesn't have anyone like we have each other. I was sorry that he's alone again on this impossible quest. He was so relieved when he thought I was the Frigg, and now I think a lot of that was just relief that the quest might be over. But it wasn't, and that sucks just as much as us not working out.”

“That's a lot of thinking.”

“It was a weird day.”

“It certainly was. Thank you for putting up with my family.”

“They're easy. Ish. But maybe you should rethink the whole Colin thing? Whatever's going on there, it's really not worth the money.”

“I'll take that on board,” he says, leaning in for a kiss. She's already there, meeting him halfway.

***

A week later, Axl calls. He only asks one question:

“Is Gaia there?”

Anders hands the phone across the couch to her. “It's for you. The baby brother wants a word.”

She puts down her book and takes the phone.

“Axl? How are you?”

Anders can't stand to walk away, but he can't sit there and do nothing either. In the end, he picks up her feet and swings them into his lap, occupying his hands with a foot rub.

“Axl, I'm sorry we didn't tell you before. It's been an adjustment for us, too.”

There's a pause, and then she says, “I don't think that's a helpful line of questioning. Yes, I loved you. That was real. And yes, I'm not quite the same person, but that would have happened anyway. We have to grow up, Axl. And that was always going to bring some changes. If I wasn't Idun, something else probably would have come up.”

There's a longer pause, and then her posture stiffens. She's not looking at him and that seems intentional.

“I don't know, Axl. I don't think we'll ever know.”

When the call is over she bustles around the kitchen and asks him questions about his other brothers until they both almost forget that she tried to marry his youngest brother once. It's not until they're in bed later that she tells him more about the line of inquiry that upset her.

“Axl asked if we'd have ever looked at each other twice if it wasn't for the god thing.”

“Ah.”

“I don't think we would have.”

“No,” he agrees, “you’re a hippy, and I don’t usually go for earth mother types.”

She huffs and pinches his side. “I don’t usually go for PR wankers, but here we are.”

“Mmmm,” he mumbles, “but I'm glad we are.”

She kisses his chest and strokes his stomach slowly. “Do you think it would be like this with any vessel of Bragi?”

“I know it wouldn't,” Anders says with a shutter. “Helen and I almost killed each other. It was nothing like this.”

“Then I guess we're lucky.”

He rolls her over then, traveling down her body with slow, almost worshipful kisses. “So, so lucky.”

***

The campaign is not as fun as he'd hoped it would be. Colin's still a dick and that would be manageable, but now Dawn's really invested in getting him elected, and Colin's looking to get in her pants. Anders can't help but feel like a dick for dragging her into more of his bullshit, so now he's in bed, holding Gaia with his lips pressed against her shoulder and his mind is racing to find a way to get Dawn out of Colin's grasp.

“I can feel you thinking back there,” Gaia says, not as asleep as he thought.

“Just the usual,” he says, stroking her hip and rubbing against her.

“There's always time for that. What else is going on?”

He rolls away and closes his eyes. “It's Dawn. I'm worried.”

She shifts towards him and reaches out to stroke his neck. “Tell me.”

So he does, and she listens without interrupting. In the end, she doesn't even start with recriminations.

“I don't know what to do,” he says softly, finally turning to look at her eyes in the pale light from the window.

“Fix it,” she says, equally softly. “I'll help.”

He takes a sharp breath. “I can't risk you.”

She smiles and shrugs. “Well, we can't risk Dawn. Who else is going to run JPR and keep you under control?”

“Right.”

Which is how she ends up at the benefit with him, breezing through the party like the goddess she is, flirting just enough to keep the conversations moving and the wine flowing. He watches her from the bar and even though he had her in the shower an hour ago, he still wants her with a power that leaves him weak at the knees and a little short of breath. He turns back to the bar and loosens his tie, only to find Colin there, smirking at him over a glass of whiskey.

“Jesus, Colin.”

“Now, now. Never take a god's name in vain, Bragi.”

“Shut up, Colin.”

“I see you called in the big guns,” Colin says, grinning at Gaia across the floor. “Did you think showing up with a love goddess would distract me from Dawn?”

Anders shrugs. “Seemed worth a shot,” he says, eyes following her as she heads towards the stairs.

“You intrigue me. Pimping out your own soulmate. Shall we see what she's up to, then?”

Colin's already on his way to the stairs, so Anders just finishes his drink and follows him slowly down to the alley below. When he gets there, Gaia's sitting on some overturned crates by the entrance while Colin and Ty are arguing over Dawn nearby.

“I think we could use some poetry,” she says quietly, and Anders takes that as his cue to move into the light with a loud whistle.

“All right, boys listen up. No one is getting Dawn. Colin, I'm dropping your campaign. Ty, thank you for the help. Let's call it a night.”

“I will ruin you,” says Colin, spitting venom. “I will burn everything you love, and I'm going to start with your slutty little girlfriend.”

He kicks his feet and the flames race towards the crates Gaia's sitting on. Anders reaches for her as she leaps towards him, and they both end up on the icy ground.

Looking up, he realizes it's icy because Ty has a grip on Colin's arm, and Hod is very much in ascendance.

“We don't hurt women, you prick,” Ty says through gritted teeth, and Colin whimpers as the frostbite starts to sets in.

Anders tries to get up quickly, slipping a little on the ice, but he’s knocked back down completely when a streak of blonde in a black dress goes rushing by.

“Ty, let him go,” says Dawn in a rush. “He's not worth it. Don't do this.”

Anders finally manages to get up and pulls Gaia up next to him. She looks as puzzled as he is.

“Does she know he's a god?”

Anders shrugs. “Maybe she's always kind of known?”

Ty let's go of Colin and reaches for Dawn on impulse, but she backs away slowly.

“I remember you. I remember a lot. But I... I'm going to need some time, I think.”

Ty's hands drop back to his sides, and Gaia steps in to take Dawn's arm.

“That seems perfectly reasonable. Let's get you home and get you a nice cup of tea. And maybe some brandy. I'm Gaia, by the way. Anders?”

“Yes?”

“Take care of Ty and Loki would you?”

And then they're gone, leaving him with Ty, who looks a little broken, and Colin, who looks like he would be dangerously pissed if he wasn't in so much pain.

“Right,” he says, looking at the end of the alley where the two women who usually sort out his life have just disappeared, “I think it's time to call in Mike, don't you? And maybe an ambulance.”

***

When the dust settles, Colin gets the medical attention he needs, and Mike promptly tricks him into a game in which he can't hurt anyone that they care about. It's a result by any measure, so Anders takes Ty home and tucks him into bed, shivering a little as Hod slowly recedes along with the adrenaline. 

He heads to Dawn's, where he finds the two of them on the couch with a bottle of brandy and beatific expressions.

“Anders!” Dawn shouts, making an expansive gesture of welcome with the brandy. “You never told me you had a girlfriend! And she's not a vacuous bimbo! You're a big boy now.”

Anders gives her a fond smile and takes the brandy from her hand. “Thank you, Dawn. I appreciate your approval.”

“Oh I know,” she says, falling back against the couch. “I'm your only sister.”

He looks at Gaia, who's giggling with joy, and feels something in his chest scab over and grow a little less tender.

“This is true,” he says, surrendering to the inevitable and sinking on to the couch between them. He takes a sip of the brandy on the way. “And how are my two favorite women?”

Gaia leans against him and smiles at Dawn. “Warm and alive and in love with Johnson boys. It could be worse.”

“Could it?” asks Dawn, suddenly serious. “My Johnson almost crippled a man tonight.”

“That,” Gaia says, full of knowledge and almost supernatural calm, “is just part of the whole deal, I'm afraid. They're very...protective.”

Dawn leans over to whisper loudly in Gaia's ear. “Do we like that, though?”

Gaia leans back and peers at Anders, who's very much still stuck on the love part and trying not to let it show. “Sometimes we do.

***

Life is relatively quiet after Mike sorts out Colin. Anders talks his way into a piece of Michele's game with the stick, and it seems like pretty good graft until one day she turns up at his door in a rage and starts stripping off her clothes.

“What?”

“A revenge fuck, Anders,” she says again, down to her bra and pushing her skirt off her hips. “Mike dumped me, and you owe me, and I can't think of another Johnson I'd like to fuck to rub it in his face.”

She's down to her panties now and coming for him. He dodges behind the table and tries to stay out of her grasp.

“That's very flattering Michele and at any other point in my life I would have no problem lending you a hand with this, but I have a girlfriend, and I'm not looking to fuck it up.”

Michele rolls her eyes and heads in the opposite direction. “Oh come on, Anders, no one believes that you're actually serious about that girl. And she couldn't leave you if she wanted to, so give it up.”

She almost catches him by the kitchen peninsula, and he has to hop up and swing himself to the other side to escape.

“Maybe she can't leave me, but I'm not going to risk it, and for your information and anyone elses, I am serious this go around.”

Michele stops and frowns at him. “Really?”

Anders sighs, hands on his hips, and looks around at the kitchen where he'd been preparing for dinner with Gaia before this all kicked off.

“Really. She's... important to me.”

Michele slumps onto a stool, the wind gone from her sails. “What a crock of shit. My boyfriend's out playing Odin, and you're here cooking for your dippy girlfriend. Where's the justice?”

“There is none, Michele. Would you like to stay for dinner?”

Michele blows out a breath and flings her hands out with frustration. “Why not?”

When Gaia arrives, Michele is still sitting at the counter in her bra and panties, sipping a glass of wine and bitching about Mike. Anders has been nodding occasionally and generally agreeing that Mike's an asshole, which is nearly always the case.

Walking around the corner in bare feet, hair fuzzy from a full night of work at the hospital, Gaia barely blinks at the half naked goddess in the kitchen. He supposes living with Axl and Zeb must have left her ready to find just about anything in the common areas.

“Hi Michele,” she says softly on her way to the teapot, pausing by Anders to sneak a mushroom off the cutting board. “How was your day?”

“Shit,” says Michele.

“That's nice,” says Gaia, clearly still half asleep. “Could you maybe put a top on? I'm going to need all of Anders’ fingers later tonight.”

Anders grins at her and leans in for a kiss.

“You two disgust me,” says Michele, sounding more exhausted now.

Gaia just hums and heads back to the bedroom. Watching her sway a little, he can't resist calling out to her.

“I was thinking about opening up our relationship. Maybe a threesome with Michele?”

“Sure, honey. Over my dead body.”

***

Since Axl returned from his trip, it's suddenly been all Frigg all the time. There are are a few false starts, but this time they're actually getting somewhere, and it's not long before they're all at a bridal shop staring at the Frigg, who looks disturbingly similar to Axl's female form.

The only problems are Mike, who—surprising exactly no one—is being a dick, and the Frigg, who seems pretty underwhelmed with her options, and her rabid ass crazy brother, who might kill any of them if it means saving the world, or something.

He's telling Gaia all of this over dinner, but she's a little stuck on the Frigg and not letting go.

“Your telling me that Axl turned into her last year? And she's old?”

“Hey, careful with that. She can't be much older than me.”

“Please don't remind me. But she didn't just turn 21, she's been the Frigg for years?”

“She's definitely not 21.”

Gaia's silent for a while, staring at her food.

“Are you okay?” He asks, well aware that he's probably going to be useless to her if she isn't.

“I was just thinking that I never could have been Frigg in the first place. As it is, I think I only narrowly avoided getting stuck with Jerome.”

“Idun’s not looking so bad, then.”

“No,” she says with a smile. “Not so bad.”

***

A few days later, Anders is reading the paper with a cup of coffee when there's a knock on the door.

It's Axl, looking a little lost and a little pissed. Anders can't help but smile. They haven't seen much of each other since the fancy dress party, and sometimes he forgets how much he misses his little brother.

“What brings you by?” He asks, turning to sit on the couch and watch Axl shuffle into the room like a kicked puppy. When Axl doesn't say anything, Anders nods and fills the silence. “Did you see Colin lost the mayoral race? Isn't that lovely. I think I'll get Dawn and Ty flowers. How are things going with the Frigg? Is she ready to get down to business yet?”

Axl makes a face, and Anders can tell he's hit a nerve.

“Trouble in paradise?”

Axl nods and then rubs a hand over his eyes. “I need to ask you something.”

Anders leans back, pleased. “Absolutely, my lord Odin. How can I be of service?”

“It's about Gaia.”

“Oh,” he says, and feels this odd ache in his chest, something just short of pain.

“Yeah. This isn't my idea of a good time, but I figured asking Ty about Eva would be worse, so here we are.”

Anders looks at him with narrowed eyes, wary. “You want to know something about god couples?”

“Yeah. What was it like, when you saw Gaia as Idun for the first time?”

Anders crosses his arms and tries to think back. There have been so many moments with Gaia since then. So many memories together in the apartment being good to each other that it's almost hard to remember what it had been like at the beginning, standing by the water looking down at the small, quiet woman who had quite suddenly turned his world upside down.

“It was electric,” he says, slowly. “Like one moment the world is flat and normal and the next everything is brighter, rounder, more alive. To be fair, she's the goddess of eternal youth, so that's got to have something to do with it. But it was almost religious. Like I wanted to worship her.”

“And now?”

Anders starts and uncrosses his arms. He'd almost forgotten Axl was there, and he feels a little guilty, since she had been Axl's girlfriend at the time.

“And now I still want to worship her. But I also want to spend time with her, which is a very different thing. What's this all about?”

“The Frigg. None of that really matches what I experienced with her. The first time I saw her, I mean.”

“Huh.”

“Was it the same with Helen? When you saw her the first time?”

Anders reaches for a pillow and hugs it to him, looking towards the ceiling like it might have a better answer. “Sort of. I definitely wanted to fuck her. It was intense. But it was different. She was a cool chick, but also not my chick, you know?”

“I guess so.”

“And when she wanted to start an empire together, I just couldn't get away from her fast enough. She scared the shit out of me. I don't want to rule the world.”

“You just want to enjoy it.”

Anders looks at his little brother, feeling a warmth of shared understanding with one of his brothers for the first time in a very long time. “Yeah. Control was always Mike's thing. Mine is distraction.”

“I get that.”

They sit in silence for a while, lost in memories of their childhood—mostly good ones for Axl, who was too young to remember the bad times, and mostly dark ones for Anders, who couldn't forget.

“Anders,” Axl says, sounding small and vulnerable and a little like the boy he remembers, “I don't think the Frigg is my chick.”

“Oh.”

“Does that mean I'm not really Odin?”

“No,” says Anders, standing up to ruffle Axl's hair, “it just means she's not the right Frigg for you.” 

***

In the end, there comes a day of reckoning. A day when the oracles are wrong, and they learn that to save the world they will all have to sacrifice everything they've known about their lives so far and make a new start. When Odin and Frigg are united and the gods ascend with them to Asgard, their work on earth will be done. Michele will die, and Dawn will forget Ty, and he and Gaia…

He and Gaia will have to have a conversation. It's been a long time coming.

“So this ends tomorrow?” she asks, looking around the flat and avoiding his eyes.

He nods, hands in his pockets and then stops and stands still. It's time to stop running. “Only if we want it to.”

She looks at him, frowning—no death glare, just weary confusion. “What do you mean?”

He takes a deep breath and moves to sit beside her on the couch. “I mean, am I moving to London or are you coming home? The intercontinental booty calls are going to be a thing of the past tomorrow, so I'd like to start thinking about a way for us to live in the same postcode. Maybe even the same apartment?”

“You're asking me to move in with you?”

He looks around the flat—the kitchen where they cook together most nights, the couch they cuddle on and read together before bed, the bathroom where she probably spends more time than he does. “How would that be substantially different from what we're doing now?”

“We'd be mortal, for a start.”

“Okay. And I'll miss my powers, a lot, but they haven't exactly been awe inspiring. And yours have been...ineffable at their best. We'll figure it out.”

“Your forgetting our main power.”

“What's that?”

“Raw sexual chemistry.”

He can't help but laugh a little at that. “You think I won't want you tomorrow?”

She is not laughing. “I think we both deserve a little time—just as ourselves—to figure that out, don't you?”

It's reasonable enough, but Anders feels hot all over. “You don't want to be with me,” he says, a chill following the heat and making him feel sick. “After all this time, you don't want me.”

Gaia runs a hand up his arm and strokes his neck, just like she always does when he's upset. He relaxes into it despite himself.

“I want us to be sure. I want us to be mortal and independent when we make this choice. If this is going to happen, I want it to be real.”

Her words are soft and her eyes are big, and he thinks of all those months ago when he thought she was boring. He was wrong then, but he knows better now. He knows that he'll want her tomorrow, and next month and probably for years after that.

“Okay,” he says. “Let's go to bed.”

The sex is slow—more about comfort than pleasure—and afterwards he holds her close with a silent prayer. This can't be the last time.

Just when he's about to open his mouth and get even more maudlin, Mike calls. He and Michele have made peace and are going out on the town to celebrate her last night on earth. Anders looks over at Gaia with a grin. “Do you want to go watch Mike fleece a casino with his powers?”

“Yes,” she says with a laugh, “that seems about right.”

***

The night after the Ga, Gaia dreams for the first time in a very long time. There's a garden with golden apples on the trees and sweet spices in the air. She's on a bench at the very center of the path, and beside her is a very old man. He has a bushy, grey beard and a soft, lilting voice. He's telling her a story, and it's the best story she's ever heard.

When she wakes up in London, all she can remember are his warm, soft eyes, so pale blue they were almost grey.

***

Anders spends two weeks trying to rebuild his life before he gives it up as a bad job. The bathroom smells like soap again, and his clothes just smell like fabric softener, and he spends five minutes at the store looking for apple scented detergent before he gets a grip and goes to the office.

Dawn remembers Ty by some miracle, but she's having trouble remembering why she puts up with Anders’ bullshit on a daily basis. He either needs to step up or to move on from JPR, and that's a hard call to make when he's not sure if he'll be staying in Auckland for the long term.

To that end, he drags himself to Axl's house, where his little brother is settling into post-Odin life with a comfort that he envies.

“What brings you by, Anders? Have you met Zeb by the way? Zeb this is my dickhead brother, Anders.”

Anders sighs and waves to Zeb. Zeb wasn't that thrilling to meet the first time around.

“I need an address.”

“Oh yeah?” Axl asks, his eyebrows shooting up with amusement rather than anger. Anders almost blushes.

“She said we should take some time to figure out what we want after...everything, and I'm about done with that.”

Axl crosses his arms, enjoying this last moment of power over him just a little too much. “Why would you think I've got her address?”

“I don't know, do I? But I figured you and Zeb are the easiest option. I'll go talk to Bryn if I have too.”

Axl snorts. “Good luck with that.”

“Hey, you little shit, I love her. She's my chick, and I don't want to live without her. Now do your big brother a favor and tell me how to find her!”

“You love her? You? Like, for real?”

Anders groans and sinks on to the couch with his head in his hands. “I assume so. I've never felt like this before.”

“How does it feel?”

“Like fire and ice and queasiness. Like I'm going to throw up, but I'm kind of happy about it.”

“You've got it bad, man,” Zeb says from the kitchen. “What's her name?”

“Gaia.”

“Huh. We've got a postcard from a Gaia on the fridge. Must have been the old roommate’s.”

Anders is up and moving before anyone can blink. The postcard is a picture of the London Eye, and the message on the back is painfully generic.

“Arrived safely, thanks for everything! Love, Gaia” he reads, stomach falling swiftly. “Fuck.”

Axl stands with a sigh. “I think Zeb got a proper letter. Zeb, we're going to look through your stuff, sorry man.”

Zeb just shrugs. “Let me know if you find anything good.”

***

Eventually, they find an address. She gave it to Ingrid of all people, back when they were trying to figure out the visiting thing. Anders packs his bag and promotes Dawn to operations manager. It's time to get her an actual assistant, and he's pretty sure she'll run a better profit than he's ever managed.

“Don't lose the farm,” he tells her over the phone at the airport. “Don't do anything that I would do.”

“Like that's going to be difficult,” she says. “Have a safe flight. I've got things here.”

It's a long ass flight, and England is as dreary as expected. In the cab from the airport he watches the drizzle outside the window and wonders if the place is ever dry. By the time he reaches her door, he’s less than thrilled to be there.

And neither is she, because there's no answer to his knock and even though his Bragi-Idun spidey senses are long gone, he thinks he would know if she were hiding there behind the door.

Anders leans against the wall and pulls out his phone. It's time to find a hotel and take a hot shower. He should have thought of this before, but he got caught up in the idea of a romantic reconciliation and wouldn't listen to sense when Dawn told him he was being an idiot.

And he feels like an idiot when he finds a likely hotel, turns around to leave and practically steps on top of her coming in the opposite direction.

“Hi,” he says, already reaching out to steady her with a hand on her hip. It's the least poetic thing he's ever said.

“Hi,” she says, smiling at him with a spark in her eyes. Her curls tickle his nose, and she smells like a hippy—grass and earth and something with just a hint of spice. She doesn't smell of apples now at all, but she smells like home, and that's all he really needed to know.

“London or Auckland?” he asks, hands already moving up to hold her closer.

“Auckland, you idiot,” she says, leaning up to kiss him as he leans down to meet her. “Take me home.”

**Author's Note:**

> Note the first: The title comes from "I Knew a Woman" by Theodore Roethke
> 
> Note the second: I know I'm four years too late to this party, so thank you for reading. I'm thinking about doing a post series sequel from Gaia's point of view, because I can't seem to stop with these two.


End file.
